i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
