He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize