We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
