Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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