Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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