Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
