I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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