just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
