So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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