So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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