I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I faked an abortion last night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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