Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
