Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
