i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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