living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
