I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
