sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
