i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
