i was rollin on her like bob the builder
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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