Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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