Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
