It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
