you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
