Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
