I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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