I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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