pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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