And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
