I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
