Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
