I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
