Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
