before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
