No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
