My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
