Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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