***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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