Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
do herpes really smell.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
