Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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