im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
