yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
