my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
