i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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