Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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