I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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