But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
