so explain again why im purple
no
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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