Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
