high people should be assigned attendants
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
