i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
