So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
