You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
