the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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