mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
two words...techno handjob
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
