If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
