I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Enjoy the penises
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
