wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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