are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
