This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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