STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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