Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
