im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
