Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
