As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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