I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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