Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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