glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
